Disney Douche

Congratulations, Disney. You've reintroduced to the kids a spawn of doucheness called the Jonas Brothers. They will convert masses of innocent adolescents who will be charmed into growing curly douche-fros and forming crappy bedroom bands with song titles like "One Douche at a Time" and "I Wanna Douche Like You" and the surefire chart topper "D.O.U.C.H.E."

They even have the Oprah douche-seal of a approval.


Now, the attempt to douche-ify the helpless young did not originate with the Douche Brothers. In my unsuspecting teen years, I was targeted with these pre-douchers! "MmmDouche" came and went but the scars are still there and they're beginning to weep with this current revival of the Douche Youth.

Tribal Band TatDouche

Sorry guys, but you're a complete douche bag if you've got anything tattooed anywhere that resembles this:


But wait. It gets better.

What could be douchier than that you ask? Uh...buying and wearing this:

Even on Halloween.

BlueDouche

Sorry, it's been awhile. I'm crazy busy but I've been wanting to post this one for a long time now.

If you walk around in public with a bluetooth headset in your ear and you're NOT on the phone, but rather just hoping and praying that a call comes in, you're a first-rate douche bag.

If You're Michael Bay

This is the Hollywood douche bag who brought us some of the crappiest, mind-numbingly stupid "blockbusters" of our generation. Doesn't he just have douche written all over him?