Douche Notice

A good friend recently forwarded me a very useful form. You can go to http://youparklikeanasshole.com and download a notice that you can leave on DBs' cars. You check the boxes that apply such as: ummm...a little too close OR that's a compact?

I've already printed out a bunch of forms so that I have some handy in the car.

Douche Rocket

Bad


Worse
If you've fixed up your mom's minivan there's pretty much no hope for you to ever be a decent human being.

Douche Combo

A douche bag who thinks she can sing/act/dance is already considered the worst type of offender in my book. When she hooks up with the biggest male douche bag of all time the results are beyond revolting.

Mother-Truckers

Trucker hats are pretty much a universal symbol of douche-iness. You have this guy to thank for exacerbating this "trend" back in ... 2004. Yet unsurprisingly many douches still haven't gotten the memo that they're completely out of style. It almost makes you think they want to be labeled as DBs. In fact, I think they think they're "representin'"

Shoulder-lane Drivers

When you think the shoulder-lane is your own personal highway. Douche!

OJ

If you're OJ Simpson:

Indoor Sunglasses

When you wear sunglasses indoors and your name isn't Stevie Wonder.

Mooners

When you stop traffic to moon innocent civilians.

I will not torture you with an image of such a douche.

Hummers

When you squeeze your hummer into a compact parking spot. Douche!